whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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