At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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