I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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