You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
