She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
