just come out here and I will go home with you...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize