Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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