Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
