the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
