my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
