Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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