you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize