and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
