I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
