Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
