Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize