There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
