sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
