did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
