I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
