The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
