I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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