My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
