i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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