Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
