weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
