oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
