Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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