I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
