maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
