Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
