I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
