so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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