I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
