Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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