how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
