I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize