Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
