i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
