its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
