that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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