All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
