Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
