I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
