Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
