she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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