I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
