non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
