Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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