We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
