a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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