Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
