Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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