Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
