I look better un-naked...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
