evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
