Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize