Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
