Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
