Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
