Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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