I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it hurts more in the daytime
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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