dude i'm inner monologue high
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
