Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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