I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
