Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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