Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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