he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize