just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
