i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
