11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
