I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
