Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sober January is a disaster.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
