I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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