if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
